Tony S. (not Soprano)

I got an email late last night: I wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my good missed friend , I hope all has been good this past year for you and 2013 will be even better. I always look forward to see you ,only keep positive people close and success as your goal.... Your good friend...Tony S

Do you have people in your life that you don't know that well, but share an amazing connection?  A very good dude named Tony came into my life a few years ago.

A few years back I am hosting an alumni event for Quinnipiac University (go Bobcats!).  Dressed in a suit I was consumed by directing volunteers with no time to small chat anyone.  More importantly I had not eaten dinner yet, which like everyone else in my family - makes me extremely irritable.  Shortly into the event, I was approached by a man, mid 60's, in a flower shirt, scraggly hair and flip flops.  His name tag read: Tony S. He had bad penmanship.  

Back then I did some small fundraising for the university.  When Tony approached me (with a smile) I thought: "Who is this joker?  I can only afford to speak with him to maybe 2 minutes, nothing more.  He doesn't look like the type of guy who will help my numbers look good. I need to ask person x,y and z for a gift for this scholarship I'm working on."  I should mention that in my mid-twenties my personality became somewhat hardened, and my vision short sighted.  Tony came to meet me at the height of my awfulness.  

Well 30 minutes later we are sharing our views on views on positive psychology, friends, happiness, spouses (he was married, I - not) and life.  I'd be lying if I said that Tony changed everything, and turned me from my abysmal outlook on my life and my work.  He didn't.  What he did do though is show me a direction, a way of thinking that I didn't even know I lost.  This guy, whose hair was more flop than his flips reminded me that I wasn't being who I wanted to see in the mirror.  I'm ashamed that I thought I had only two minutes to talk to him... Who am I to think such a thing? 

"Never judge someone based on their appearance." So many of us have been told this countless times.  It's a crock.  Initially, we will always judge someone based on their appearance.  What is important is that we become comfortable with the fact that we do judge, and - think past that judgement because most people that come into our lives deserve the opportunity to speak, and not be spoken for by their appearance.

"To be great is to be misunderstood."

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