Tony S. (not Soprano)

I got an email late last night: I wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my good missed friend , I hope all has been good this past year for you and 2013 will be even better. I always look forward to see you ,only keep positive people close and success as your goal.... Your good friend...Tony S

Do you have people in your life that you don't know that well, but share an amazing connection?  A very good dude named Tony came into my life a few years ago.

A few years back I am hosting an alumni event for Quinnipiac University (go Bobcats!).  Dressed in a suit I was consumed by directing volunteers with no time to small chat anyone.  More importantly I had not eaten dinner yet, which like everyone else in my family - makes me extremely irritable.  Shortly into the event, I was approached by a man, mid 60's, in a flower shirt, scraggly hair and flip flops.  His name tag read: Tony S. He had bad penmanship.  

Back then I did some small fundraising for the university.  When Tony approached me (with a smile) I thought: "Who is this joker?  I can only afford to speak with him to maybe 2 minutes, nothing more.  He doesn't look like the type of guy who will help my numbers look good. I need to ask person x,y and z for a gift for this scholarship I'm working on."  I should mention that in my mid-twenties my personality became somewhat hardened, and my vision short sighted.  Tony came to meet me at the height of my awfulness.  

Well 30 minutes later we are sharing our views on views on positive psychology, friends, happiness, spouses (he was married, I - not) and life.  I'd be lying if I said that Tony changed everything, and turned me from my abysmal outlook on my life and my work.  He didn't.  What he did do though is show me a direction, a way of thinking that I didn't even know I lost.  This guy, whose hair was more flop than his flips reminded me that I wasn't being who I wanted to see in the mirror.  I'm ashamed that I thought I had only two minutes to talk to him... Who am I to think such a thing? 

"Never judge someone based on their appearance." So many of us have been told this countless times.  It's a crock.  Initially, we will always judge someone based on their appearance.  What is important is that we become comfortable with the fact that we do judge, and - think past that judgement because most people that come into our lives deserve the opportunity to speak, and not be spoken for by their appearance.

"To be great is to be misunderstood."

Listening to:

The Power of Speech

So I heard a cool saying from my Graduate Assistant (GA) the other day.  For Those of you who don't know what a GA is, they are graduate students working on a college campus as a para professional.  They are supervised by people in director positions like myself. 

The relationship is usually a mentoring flavor.  The GA works, gains experience and knowledge from.  Well we were talking about his goals, etc.  I asked him aboutit how he was going to accomplish one of his more "lofty" goals... He replies with stern confidence: "Well sometimes you need to just speak things into existence".  I was floored.  He reminded me of the power one can have against there own doubt.

Sometimes you just need to say something out loud.  "I will get to a healthier weight, I will pass this test, I am going to read more, etc. etc."  If you can hear yourself say things, maybe you will hold yourself more accountable. 

"Sometimes you need to speak things into existence" - Thanks Courtland for reminding me that words are stronger than my doubtful thoughts.  There's no need to:

Difficult Possibilities

I was g-chatting with my good friend Courri from California.  He's easily one of the most spirited, funny and charismatic dudes that has walked the earth.  He's dropped this gem on me when we talked about taking risks and realizing our dreams vs. having "hamster-in-the-wheel syndrome"

[...getting where we want to go]...it's not supposed to be easy, but, it's supposed to be possible.

Thanks Courri

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